So I thought to wrap 2015 I would share the struggles I dealt with over the year, what I learned over the hardest year of my life, and how I use the struggles God put in my life to grow me closer to Him and become the person He created me to be!!
As I look back, this year was one of the hardest times of my life, the physical and emotional pain I dealt with took a toll on me. I have been dealing with constant eye pain since the end of 2014, and eye issues ever since I was 4 years old. My whole year has consisted of different doctor visits (to many to count), trying to figure out the source of the pain, different medication, getting my blood drawn, shots, and just overall frustration. The hardest pain a person can endure is the kind where you don’t know why or what is causing your struggle.
Even though it kills me to say, I wouldn’t take any of it back. Because for the first time I feel like I am becoming the person who God wants me to be. I know that He has a different path for everyone, some easier then others. But once you give up the struggle to walk your path independently, and start walking it with Him, you begin to become the person God designed you to be.
I learned that even though it is difficult, we should rejoice in our struggles because it makes us stronger, gives us endurance, motivates and shows us perseverance. Hold on to the fact that God has a plan for your life and that He knows how and when this struggle will end, should give us hope. And I hold on that hope of His plan for my life, because it truly is the only thing that gets me through.
Patience, that is the word of my 2015. When your in constant pain with now end in sight, no resolution, no answer, that is when you really have to lean on the Lord and draw strength from Him. Life doesn’t stop when you do, I make myself do things because its what I have to do, and God gives me the strength to do it. He also gives me the knowledge and peace to be able to pass on certain activities because He knows my limit. Its hard because we want to do everything, and just because we can, doesn’t mean we should- that’s been a challenge for me to learn.
Having people not understand is so disheartening, and overtime I’ve had to accept that no one will ever understand because no one can ever truly understand someone else’s pain. That’s when I talk to God the most because He is the only one who understands ultimate pain.
I know that God doesn’t let us go through hard times for no reason. He loves us and wants to show us how to let these trials be an opportunity to spend more time with Him and grow in our relationship.
I am still dealing with pain, but when I look back and see where I was, vs where I am now, it gives me hope that one day I can look back with all this in the past. In the middle of our pain we don’t understand what God is doing, but once were out of the fog and can look back at the road behind and see how much we have changed for the better, it becomes a beautiful thing.
I cant wait to see what God has in store for 2016.